You’ve seen this movie, right? And we all agree that this type of guy is the last person we would ever want waiting on us, no?
So why is it that now a full decade later, the geniuses in charge of shitholes like Applebee’s still insist we try to present ourselves to a table like this infamous jackass? You will never hear me greeting a table with the suggestive selling we are expected to use, because you’ve immediately introduced yourself as a tool. And I don’t roll like that.
If anything, I prefer to be concise, appear busy at all times and leave my table knowing that I can get everything they need without overstaying my welcome.
It works quite well. This evening, I had only two tips that were 10 percent or less (they were both worthless bills, anyway). I’m not sure I did myself any favors in our “swirl margarita” contest (we began role playing for that horse shit this week too), but as I always say, “I guess I’ll just have to go cry about that in my wad of money.”
They’ll probably never ask me to be a manager, of course, which is just fine by me. I wouldn’t have it any other way.
