I’ve speculated before about the influence of cinema, but it really is like this every time: One person does it and then everybody follows suit.
October222009
October212009
[Flash 9 is required to listen to audio.]
Kings of Leon | Use Somebody
I will never get sick of this song. NEVER!
Well, then you should come work at the country club with me because I heard this song THREE times today in the span of a six-hour shift.
But just to be crystal clear: Yes, this tune is highly preferrable to any of those three Bon Jovi songs Applebee’s played to death. I still believe being subjected to that dreck on a daily basis qualifies as grounds for a lawsuit.
October162009
These 10-hour shifts do not come as easily to me as I once remember them being
October82009
19 steins, world record for a woman.
(msnbc.com)
Nice carry.
October22009
The club's new part-time bartender
- Him: You still talk to anybody from [place we used to work together]?
- Me: Not really.
- Him: Yeah, I'm a family man now.
- Me: Yeah ... so should I text you Sunday about getting me that quad?
- Him: Totally.
September52009
“cant got fired again”
An old co-worker’s reply to a Facebook thread from one of the Applebuddies looking to get a couple of shifts picked up this weekend
August262009
On The Straight And Narrow (Minded) | Not Always Right
Bar | Hertfordshire, England(Note: I’m a female customer sitting in a pub. I’m approached by another male customer while I read a book.)
Male customer: “Hello, my name is ***.”
Me: “That’s nice.”
Male customer: “So can I have your number?”
Me: “Oh. Actually, I’m gay.”
Male customer: “You want to have sex with women?”
Me: “Well, not right now. Right now, I just want to read my book.”
Male customer: “That’s bulls***! If you’re a lesbian then you want to have sex with women!”
Me: “Honestly, I just want to read my book.”
Male customer: “You’re lying to me, that’s very rude! I’m going to complain!”
Male customer, to a waitress: “That girl over there is being really rude. I want you to do something, it’s disturbing my day. She just lied to me and told me that she was a lesbian, and now she’s mocking me.”
Waitress: “What am I supposed to do about that? Make her straight?”
Male customer: “Just do something about it!”
Waitress, to me: “Hello, there.”
Me: “Hello. I’m sorry about him.”
Waitress: “Oh, it’s no problem! So, can I have your number?”
Male customer: *looks horrified*
Me: “Er, yeah, sure. Here.”
(I write my number on a napkin and she takes it, still smiling.)
Waitress, to male customer: “See? She’s a lesbian.”
Male customer: “That’s not what I wanted you to do! I didn’t want you to ask her out, I wanted you to make her leave! I demand to speak to your manager!”
Waitress: “Oh, he’s just popped out. I can get his boyfriend for you though if you want?”
Male customer: *storms out cursing*
(It turned out that the waitress was kidding about her manager, but she wasn’t kidding about asking me out!)
Not Always Right | Funny & Stupid Customer Quotes » On The Straight And Narrow (Minded)
this is exactly what i needed to read. right before i head to the pub myself, no less. cheers.
August162009
Pretty sure I’ve eaten here…..
August122009
[Flash 9 is required to listen to audio.]
“Fume” — Beck
Did I mention that the GM and Chef Insecurito pulled me into the office the other week to ask about our collective little commitment to making sure the whip cream cans are really empty?
Yeah, well we’ve been told not to pull that shit anymore—me, being the only one of the usual huffers that’s still employed there (for four more days [!!!!!1!!]).
August12009
“A diet book should have two pages in it: “Page 1 – Eat right. Page 2 – Exercise. Acknowledgments: My common sense.”
Bill Maher (via excitablehonky)
Always think of this when waiting on the obese person who orders something along the lines of a basket of mozzarella sticks, a fried chicken salad (extra ranch dressing, of course) and the Mile High Pie—but a Diet Pepsi, because they’re watching their weight after all.
← Older Entries
Page 1 of 7
